IVF # 2 6 Weeks

Ok so we didn't lose the pregnancy and we saw a heartbeat!  It was a glorious moment and one more step closer to delivering a living child!

On a side note there was another baby (baby A) measuring about a week behind so the doctor says that it is not viable and will not effect the other baby (baby B) at all.  Mr. E asked if there was any way the other baby A would make it and the doctor said it's very unlikely, but we are just so glad to have the one!  It's hard to be upset when we didn't even know there were two!

My big question is at what point do you stop worrying?  I still am so nervous about everything I do, every cramp, twing, or weird pressure AND I still look for blood every.single.time.i.go.to.the.bathroom!

I said that I was very nervous to the doctor and she said that I should be since it's our fifth pregnancy with so many losses and in some sick way that put me at ease..... I like that she gets it, there is no sugar coating or hand holding, just straight facts.  I really like her, however I don't like the location of the office!  The nurses said that both doctors, my original and the immunologist, want to monitor me so they are going to have to have a conversation of who will be doing it.

Now we wait 10 loooooooooong days until our next ultra/blood!

Today ended up being a much better day than I had expected and another milestone checked off!

IVF # 2 5w5d

Our second beta last Wednesday more than doubled, so that up was a great relief, but......... I'm convinced we lost this pregnancy...

No I have no proof
No I haven't had any spotting
No there is no real explanation but just pure fear.....

I just feel it.  My boobs aren't as sore as I remember them being BUT I have horrible indigestion that I didn't have the last pregnancy that was about this long.  I am having some strong lower abdominal pain/cramping only at night BUT then I have gas and it is relieved for a bit, so maybe I'm just being paranoid.  I guess I'd rather prepare for the worst than have my heart ripped out of my body yet again.

I still haven't looked up our estimated due date (edd), I literally cannot bring myself to do that because then it will be real.  I also am trying to think one day at a time, but that is just way more difficult than I thought.

I go back Thursday for my next ultra/blood and I am so uneasy.

Please Lord let this one stick and give me the streghth and courage to get to Thursday.

IVF #2 Reproductive Immunologist Consultation

Intralipids...... Yes I just had my first infusion.  We didn't know if I 100% needed it or not but the labs take a week to come back so we just bit the bullet and did it.  The infusion will help keep the NK killers at bay if they are elevated.  We were too nervous not to do it and then run the risk of losing this pregnancy over doing it and not ending up needing it.  It won't hurt anything if I didn't need it but it can only help if I did!

I really liked the doctor, she was great.  Also the nurses were amazing! We got to see our singleton bean! Measuring right on track, 4 weeks 5 days!  Didn't look like much, but it felt good to see that we have an implantation success and now we just have to get that number to double then I will hopefully be able to breath a bit more easier!

Our plan to move forward is that I need to go see this doctor every......... Single....... Week until the first trimester is over.  They want to check blood every week along with ultrasounds to ensure everything is going ok..

Only bad part is that the office is an hour away.  I guess it's good that this is happening now because I will only have to take off one more 1/2 day then it will be summer so we should be good!  Now I have to go figure out which in network lab will do this certain blood test so that we don't have to pay out of pocket........ Let's the games begin!

IVF #2 Beta #1

Beta is in.......... 377.4

I was certain this cycle was a bust.  I have been POAS since Thursday and the lines haven't been getting drastically darker.  So that still has me a bit nervous but I am just going to take one day at a time.  Today I am thankful that I have the honor of having one (or two) blasties hopefully growing!  I get to go back Wednesday to see what my numbers are doing.

In the mean time, tomorrow I am going to see the reproductive immunologist and then Wednesday afternoon I go meet with the endocrinologist.  My tsh was 2.35, so it's rising but still in the normal range so I'm going to have them test again soon.

I of course am overcome with pure terror that we will lose them, but this seems to be a stronger number than we have had in the past so maybe, just maybe this is the one.

Now I just need nine more months of good news..........

IVF #2 3dp5dt

I never thought I was going to be able to say 5dt, but BAM, there it is!

Pretty cool

I stalked the doctors to get my exact numbers for the RPL panel and it looks like only three tests came up abnormal

-anti TPO antibodies         494 (0-35)
-CD4- t helpers.                  58.9 ( normal 30-52)
-NK cell activatn.                11.3 (normal 10)

The last two aren't too high but they are elevated, so hopefully the prednisone will help.

I am going to meet with the immunologist RE in my practice on 5/20, a day after my beta.  Of course I have been scrounging the internet for all the information that I can get my hands or rather eyes on and there isn't much out there.  The good news is that the NK cells seem to be ok as I have found numerous ranges that state that 12 is still considered normal so I will just wait until I hear what the doctor has to say.

IVF #2 Frosties

Really good news!

The embryologist just called and we have two blastocysts going to freeze!  Yesterday we were so torn as to if we did the right thing only transferring two, but I can confidently say today that I know we did.  We really hadn't wanted to only freeze one but now we get to freeze two!

One is of great quality, one is fair but she said they have seen a lot of fair embryos make beautiful children, so that is fab!!  I'll take it!!!

Ok now back to my lazy day

IVF #2 Transfer

Alright..... Today was a bit stressful.

For starters the embryologist's don't look at the embryos until the day of the transfer, so that meant that we showed up today with no further update than we had six fertilized eggs.  Being the pessimist I am, I was positive we wouldn't have any eggs left so I was so nervous until we saw a picture of two blastocysts on the paper.  Relief only lasted a few more seconds

We then found out we had one more egg (total of three) that was in the day 4 stages/day of growth.  Fabulous! She then went on to explain that they would continue to grow it until tomorrow then freeze.

Here's the report ended up retrieving 8 eggs/6 mature/6 fertilized/2-3 blastocysts at day 5/ transferred 2 day 5

Mr. E. and I had already decided that if we were in this situation we would prefer to transfer all three, however the head embryologist and our doctor said they both highly discouraged us to do this.  I'll get back to the head embryologist in a different post, but we were both so very torn with what to do.

On one hand we knew triplet would be a huge commitment, but we could do twins.  The twins rate when transferring two is one in five transfers and when you transfer three the twins rate goes up to four in five transfers, but the last couple of transfers they did with three ended up in triplets.

So....... We only transferred two.  I am still torn with this decision.

If we would have had four it would have been a clear - use two, freeze two, but that's not the hand we were dealt.

We are going to wait until day 6 to see if the last egg continues to grow and turn into a blastocyst then they will call us and we will freeze it.

My reasoning behind transferring all three was
1.) The last one is already behind, who knows if it will make it so why not just transfer it and see what happens.
2.) We have already lost so much why not try all three and maybe one will stick
3.) Freezing is so expensive is it worth only freezing one?  Would we even want to transfer only one?  What if we do freeze and it doesn't thaw did we just waste a baby?

When I came out from the transfer the first thing Mr. E. Said was "was that the right decision!"  I hope we made the right decision

For now PUPO.......

IVF #2 Retrieval

Back home resting after the ER.  The IV was a horrible experience, my left thumb and pointer finger are still numb...... I was so mad at the nurse, but on the good side we got 7 eggs, which is two more than last time, so that is a positive.

Now we wait for the phone call in how many were mature and how many fertilized.

I'm not having much pain from the actual procedure, just having a lot of lower abdominal cramping which is different than the last time.

I am feeling really nervous about all of this.  I think I am most fearful of it not working, or losing another one.  I just hate that there are no guarantees...... But that's life

Literally going to be sitting by my phone waiting........