Yet again I thought I our baby was doomed. I feel great, I have had VERY minimal nausea, no morning sickness, and I am just tired! While I am so thankful for this perk, it makes me so nervous each week when I go in for my ultrasound because it could be the day that we lose this pregnancy too.
I also have had horrible diarrhea since Saturday and some sharp lower abdominal cramping that usually turns into gas, but still.......
Everything looked great, baby b's heart rate was 171 bpm and grew exactly one week. Baby a is starting to reabsorb but the sac is still exactly the same. Not sure when that will completely be gone.
We are officially stopping estrogen patches, progesterone, and prednisone which is great news, but of course that makes me nervous!
We are still checking NK killers each week and APA to hopefully stop the lovenox. For the NK killers my level did rise last week (11 so on the upper side of normal) so we may need another infusion after this week.
I will go to they immunologist through 12 weeks then be released to my OB, however I will need to have the NK killer checked each month to make sure it's all ok!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
IVF #2 8w5d
I'm not 100% sure but I think I pee when the magic wand is inserted!!!!! Is that normal!?!? Obviously no one says anything and I am NOT asking, but just wanted to throw that out there!
Today went well, I was a nervous wreck as usual, but our baby b is growing perfectly and the heartrate was 174 so right on track! It is still measuring three days behind but they said not to worry as it is growing exactly on par per weeks. The doctor said if everything continues to go as perfectly as it is now (thank God) that we can start to taper off meds next week! Baby a has stopped growing but still there :( no heartbeat as is the slight bleeding that is probably being absorbed because I haven't had any more spotting.
I am so happy but still have this crazy fear that something is going to happen. I still don't think I will be ok until this baby is in my arms and that is so sad.
My whole life all I have wanted is to be a mom, be pregnant, and love every second of it. I am so on edge at all times, I analyze the toilet paper, and cringe at every cramp.......I feel awesome so that makes me nervous and I haven't had any morning sickness, which again is great but makes me even more anxious........
I know I need to relax and take it one day at a time but wayyyyyy easier said than done!
We go back next week Wednesday so until then...... I'll try to be zen!
Today went well, I was a nervous wreck as usual, but our baby b is growing perfectly and the heartrate was 174 so right on track! It is still measuring three days behind but they said not to worry as it is growing exactly on par per weeks. The doctor said if everything continues to go as perfectly as it is now (thank God) that we can start to taper off meds next week! Baby a has stopped growing but still there :( no heartbeat as is the slight bleeding that is probably being absorbed because I haven't had any more spotting.
I am so happy but still have this crazy fear that something is going to happen. I still don't think I will be ok until this baby is in my arms and that is so sad.
My whole life all I have wanted is to be a mom, be pregnant, and love every second of it. I am so on edge at all times, I analyze the toilet paper, and cringe at every cramp.......I feel awesome so that makes me nervous and I haven't had any morning sickness, which again is great but makes me even more anxious........
I know I need to relax and take it one day at a time but wayyyyyy easier said than done!
We go back next week Wednesday so until then...... I'll try to be zen!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
IVF #2 7w5d Bittersweet
Bittersweet is the combination of bitterness, which seems to be a common trend in our life lately, and sweetness, which we are only beginning to taste.
Today was bitter because baby A no longer has a heart rate and probably stopped growing about four days ago :(
Today was sweet because baby b is growing perfectly with a strong heartbeat.
I feel so torn.....
While I knew that our "luck" would be running out at some point, because let's be honest when you reach the IF world most of your "luck" is gone, but I just wished it wouldn't be at the expense of a growing baby.
I feel like my body has once again betrayed me, but what else is new......
On the flip side, I do feel so happy to have baby b growing and thriving and that is what I need to continue to focus on.
I do still have quite a bit of blood around baby a which the immunologist said will either continue to drain out or will be reabsorbed by my body as well as baby a.
I go back in a week for another scan and maybe we can stop the lovenox due to the bleeding.
Today was bitter because baby A no longer has a heart rate and probably stopped growing about four days ago :(
Today was sweet because baby b is growing perfectly with a strong heartbeat.
I feel so torn.....
While I knew that our "luck" would be running out at some point, because let's be honest when you reach the IF world most of your "luck" is gone, but I just wished it wouldn't be at the expense of a growing baby.
I feel like my body has once again betrayed me, but what else is new......
On the flip side, I do feel so happy to have baby b growing and thriving and that is what I need to continue to focus on.
I do still have quite a bit of blood around baby a which the immunologist said will either continue to drain out or will be reabsorbed by my body as well as baby a.
I go back in a week for another scan and maybe we can stop the lovenox due to the bleeding.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
IVF # 2 6w6d
Oh my, today was so very stressful.
I went to the restroom around 10:15 and there was some brown spotting on the tp and brown clots..... I almost died. I immediately called the immunologist's nurse as the doctor is out of town. I had to leave a message which killed me but she called back within 15 minutes, thank goodness.
She said there wasn't much to do but hold tight unless I wanted to go into the other office (original) but she didn't recommend that. I then told her that I had to, especially because we are going out of town for the weekend.
She called the other office and then they called me. I left work immediately and went. I was certain it was over, that we had lost both. I cried the whole way there then had to wait like 30 minutes but.... Both babies are there with almost exactly the same heart rate! They are measuring one day apart and four days behind, but they weren't too concerned with the sizes as they both had heart beats. I almost fell off the table.
I do have some bleeding in my uterus around baby A and will need to take it very easy over the next few days, which is actually possible because school ended today!
Until I get to see these babies again on Tuesday I will be sitting on pins and needles......
I went to the restroom around 10:15 and there was some brown spotting on the tp and brown clots..... I almost died. I immediately called the immunologist's nurse as the doctor is out of town. I had to leave a message which killed me but she called back within 15 minutes, thank goodness.
She said there wasn't much to do but hold tight unless I wanted to go into the other office (original) but she didn't recommend that. I then told her that I had to, especially because we are going out of town for the weekend.
She called the other office and then they called me. I left work immediately and went. I was certain it was over, that we had lost both. I cried the whole way there then had to wait like 30 minutes but.... Both babies are there with almost exactly the same heart rate! They are measuring one day apart and four days behind, but they weren't too concerned with the sizes as they both had heart beats. I almost fell off the table.
I do have some bleeding in my uterus around baby A and will need to take it very easy over the next few days, which is actually possible because school ended today!
Until I get to see these babies again on Tuesday I will be sitting on pins and needles......
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