I officially took the last bcp last night! I am beyond excited and nervous to get this show on the road. I have to admit that I used to be prettified of needles. I think it's fair to say that I have gotten better, I administer all of my injections that go in my tummy, but I am still very nervous to do the PIO! I watched a few videos last night and think I'm feeling a bit more confident, especially if someone can administer it to themselves, it can't be that bad. I guess only time will tell.
Now we just have to wait for AF then go in for baseline blood and ultra (aka my old friend magic wand)!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Waving the White Flag
I cannot believe I am willfully taking Lupron again, but as of 20 minutes ago I did my first injection. I'm panicking a bit due to the last shall we say, rough relationship Lupron and I had. However I'm hoping that since it's part of our protocol (for Ivf) I will be able to tolerate it a bit more (but in all reality am fully prepared to be crazy for the next few weeks, sorry Mr. E!)
We met with the Ivf coordinator last Wednesday to sign the mountainous stack of paperwork. We also got the much anticipated calendar, but unfortunately it only had the next two weeks, which consist of bcp's and lupron. On the brighter side with a new month, we will have a new regiment of meds and hopefully know if we will get our rainbow.
I am so excited to begin all of this, but feel a sad ache in my heart for the realization that we are where we are. No woman ever anticipates that they will have to do this scary infertility stuff to have a healthy child, which ironically is what our bodies were intended to do. It's been hard for me to relinquish control, as that is one of my biggest battles in my life but I've realized that me controlling things has brought me to this exact moment and point, so...........I surrender!
We met with the Ivf coordinator last Wednesday to sign the mountainous stack of paperwork. We also got the much anticipated calendar, but unfortunately it only had the next two weeks, which consist of bcp's and lupron. On the brighter side with a new month, we will have a new regiment of meds and hopefully know if we will get our rainbow.
I am so excited to begin all of this, but feel a sad ache in my heart for the realization that we are where we are. No woman ever anticipates that they will have to do this scary infertility stuff to have a healthy child, which ironically is what our bodies were intended to do. It's been hard for me to relinquish control, as that is one of my biggest battles in my life but I've realized that me controlling things has brought me to this exact moment and point, so...........I surrender!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Hope that's something fun!
I finally got all, well let's be honest, nothing goes right, so only most of my Ivf meds yesterday but in typical fashion there was an issue. Of course one sheet of prescriptions accidentally didn't get faxed over, oops, but I'm getting the missing two tomorrow, so I'll live. Nothing like adding a little more anxiety over this whole process.
I had to have the meds delivered to school bc the shipment requires a signature, and since well, I have a job, I couldn't be home to sign for them. The very nice secretaries signed and didn't say anything but the nurse asked, I hope that's something fun. I wanted to throw the huge box at her and scream no, as a matter of fact it is not. That is unless you consider having to go through fertility treatment to conceive and hopefully have a healthy child fun, then I'm sorry but nothing fun about it.
Just gearing up to start the lupron Sunday
I had to have the meds delivered to school bc the shipment requires a signature, and since well, I have a job, I couldn't be home to sign for them. The very nice secretaries signed and didn't say anything but the nurse asked, I hope that's something fun. I wanted to throw the huge box at her and scream no, as a matter of fact it is not. That is unless you consider having to go through fertility treatment to conceive and hopefully have a healthy child fun, then I'm sorry but nothing fun about it.
Just gearing up to start the lupron Sunday
Friday, January 10, 2014
What A Headache
Literally, I'm thinking this is becoming a non preferable pattern, and I'm not too happy. A month ago, right before I ovulated, I had three migraines in one week, yes you read that correctly, three.......in.........one........week. I obviously blamed it on lupron, cuz why not, I seem to blame every other ill tempered, bad mood, and crying episode on it still to this day, even though it's been four months since my one and only shot! Anyways... Guess what I have had all week!? A migraine-like killer headache. Non-fricken stop for seven days.
I went the the chiropractor Monday and Tuesday, then spent Wednesday morning in the ER getting a MRI per the doctors scary concerns for a stroke, and finally was diagnosed with hormonal headaches!!! Excuse me! The ER doctor even had the audacity to tell me about his wife, who had to have fertility treatment for their to complete their family (because they wanted four, not three children) who was a crazy lady throughout their whole fertility treatment. I wanted to jump out of the beg and strangle him. If only men had to experience half of what we have to go through it would somewhat equal out the injustices of the world, well not really, but it would help.
Ends up I went back to the chiro land got a decompression treatment and it really helped. Too bad they are closed on the weekend!
I went the the chiropractor Monday and Tuesday, then spent Wednesday morning in the ER getting a MRI per the doctors scary concerns for a stroke, and finally was diagnosed with hormonal headaches!!! Excuse me! The ER doctor even had the audacity to tell me about his wife, who had to have fertility treatment for their to complete their family (because they wanted four, not three children) who was a crazy lady throughout their whole fertility treatment. I wanted to jump out of the beg and strangle him. If only men had to experience half of what we have to go through it would somewhat equal out the injustices of the world, well not really, but it would help.
Ends up I went back to the chiro land got a decompression treatment and it really helped. Too bad they are closed on the weekend!
Friday, January 3, 2014
New Year......New Hope!?!?
This year we have learned and in the same beat been through a lot. We learned that we can get pregnant via medicated iui's however we loss pregnancies very easily.
I learned to love Mr. E so much more. He is truly my rock......... that is only if we agree on what I want or think is the right way to go :)
We learned that I have stage IV endometriosis, which is hopefully the reason we are having trouble keeping the pregnancies.
We learned that I have hashimoto's which is now treated with daily medication.
We (I) have tried so many different things to help us reach our goal of a healthy pregnancy. I've done herbs, acupuncture, different doctors, naturopaths, food sensitivity testing, everything under the sun and I'll keep trying until something works. I've opened my eyes to practices I previously would have disregarded as a waste of time, and I've enjoyed learning new things.
This year has brought us a lot of hope, but also a lot of sorrow. We know we can get pregnant, however We have lost one baby at 7w4d, one at 5w4d, and one possibly at 5wd3. All in five months.
I learned that I can inject myself with the scary needles.
I've learned to be okay with numerous people looking and placing things into my you know what.
I no longer fear blood draws........ well actually that is a lie. I am only at ease with them if Gia, the blood draw goddess, is waiting for me with the butterfly needle, otherwise I am fearful!!!
I have learned that I can wait if I really try. It's kind of similar to looking back and thinking, well those three months flew by, but each day was very long and felt like it was so slowwwwwww. But always in retrospect it was much easier than actually living each second.
I've also learned that above most I want one healthy child. Before I had dreamed of having 2-4 children, but now I would be happy with one.
This coming year brings a lot of unknowns and I know it will not be easy. I'm ready to hop back on the infertility roller coaster and get the show on the road. I am going to try to relinquish some of the control and see what happens.
I learned to love Mr. E so much more. He is truly my rock......... that is only if we agree on what I want or think is the right way to go :)
We learned that I have stage IV endometriosis, which is hopefully the reason we are having trouble keeping the pregnancies.
We learned that I have hashimoto's which is now treated with daily medication.
We (I) have tried so many different things to help us reach our goal of a healthy pregnancy. I've done herbs, acupuncture, different doctors, naturopaths, food sensitivity testing, everything under the sun and I'll keep trying until something works. I've opened my eyes to practices I previously would have disregarded as a waste of time, and I've enjoyed learning new things.
This year has brought us a lot of hope, but also a lot of sorrow. We know we can get pregnant, however We have lost one baby at 7w4d, one at 5w4d, and one possibly at 5wd3. All in five months.
I learned that I can inject myself with the scary needles.
I've learned to be okay with numerous people looking and placing things into my you know what.
I no longer fear blood draws........ well actually that is a lie. I am only at ease with them if Gia, the blood draw goddess, is waiting for me with the butterfly needle, otherwise I am fearful!!!
I have learned that I can wait if I really try. It's kind of similar to looking back and thinking, well those three months flew by, but each day was very long and felt like it was so slowwwwwww. But always in retrospect it was much easier than actually living each second.
I've also learned that above most I want one healthy child. Before I had dreamed of having 2-4 children, but now I would be happy with one.
This coming year brings a lot of unknowns and I know it will not be easy. I'm ready to hop back on the infertility roller coaster and get the show on the road. I am going to try to relinquish some of the control and see what happens.
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