Sunday, January 19, 2014

Waving the White Flag

I cannot believe I am willfully taking Lupron again, but as of 20 minutes ago I did my first injection.  I'm panicking a bit due to the last shall we say, rough relationship Lupron and I had.  However I'm hoping that since it's part of our protocol (for Ivf) I will be able to tolerate it a bit more (but in all reality am fully prepared to be crazy for the next few weeks, sorry Mr. E!)

We met with the Ivf coordinator last Wednesday to sign the mountainous stack of paperwork. We also got the much anticipated calendar, but unfortunately it only had the next two weeks, which consist of bcp's and lupron.  On the brighter side with a new month, we will have a new regiment of meds and hopefully know if we will get our rainbow.

I am so excited to begin all of this, but feel a sad ache in my heart for the realization that we are where we are.   No woman ever anticipates that they will have to do this scary infertility stuff to have a healthy child, which ironically is what our bodies were intended to do.  It's been hard for me to relinquish control, as that is one of my biggest battles in my life but I've realized that me controlling things has brought me to this exact moment and point, so...........I surrender!  

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