Bittersweet is the combination of bitterness, which seems to be a common trend in our life lately, and sweetness, which we are only beginning to taste.
Today was bitter because baby A no longer has a heart rate and probably stopped growing about four days ago :(
Today was sweet because baby b is growing perfectly with a strong heartbeat.
I feel so torn.....
While I knew that our "luck" would be running out at some point, because let's be honest when you reach the IF world most of your "luck" is gone, but I just wished it wouldn't be at the expense of a growing baby.
I feel like my body has once again betrayed me, but what else is new......
On the flip side, I do feel so happy to have baby b growing and thriving and that is what I need to continue to focus on.
I do still have quite a bit of blood around baby a which the immunologist said will either continue to drain out or will be reabsorbed by my body as well as baby a.
I go back in a week for another scan and maybe we can stop the lovenox due to the bleeding.
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