Today is stim day one. I am hopeful that this will be our miracle cycle, but realistic that it may not :/
We just got back from a graduation party for one of our friends and there were three newborns there. I feel exhausted from having to smile, ask questions, and hold back my sobs that I wanted to cry for the short hour and a half I was there.
I wanted to stay to hang out with our friends who to be honest, I have been avoiding for months, but I couldn't take one more second of it. I feel horrible and so sad that I had to leave but I was about to lose it.
Our closest friends know some of what is going on so they were very respectful and didn't say anything, thank The Lord, but it was just sad. I felt resentful, mad, and overwhelmed that all of these people could have children so easily and we have been working so hard.
I am not telling anyone that we are doing another ivf except for my parents and one friend at school who did ivf and teaches across the hallway from me. She has been such a great support throughout all of this for me and is always so on top of what is going on, asking how things are going and how I'm feeling.
This cycle we are changing things up and doing a short flare protocol. My regiment is
PM
300 Bravelle
225 Menopur
40 mg Lovenox
Baby aspirin
Then I also take a prenatal, zinc, folic acid, and DHEA.
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