Is it me or is everything in the medical field such a process!!?!?! It's like nothing can go smoothly and it is beyond frustrating.
Long story short, one of my incisions from the lap is infected and no pharmacies in the Chicagoland area has the medicine that the doctor wrote the prescription for. OMG for real......yes, I called seven 24 hour cvs's and the Walgreens pharmacist looked it up in their computer. So after two calls to the on call nurse and one call to the doctor, per the nurse, I will be starting the antibiotic tomorrow!!!! It just feels like nothing is easy anymore, woe is me! How many women going through fertility treatment say that, probably every, except those lucky ladies who do one and are done ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Add it to the list :)
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Lupron-Week Two
Holy moly guacamole!!
This week was horrible. Not only did it feel like a truck hit me emotionally, BUT I had the strongest, most painful AF that I have ever had in my entire life. I contemplated calling in Monday when she arrived, but being the good little girl that I always am, I took 3 Advil (which I've missed dearly for the last ten months), packed my lunch, and went on my way.
The pain wasn't half as bad as the emotional wreck that I turned into. At first I blamed all of the emotions on AF's arrival, but when it didn't go away I realized there was something more going on. I now know the "ledge" that the nurse was talking about, I was there most of the week. I felt like I was going to cry at any second, I was very paranoid everyone was out to get me, and the anxiety was horrific!
When you take the lupron, it depletes your body of estrogen, a hormone that helps regulate your emotions. This helps the endometriosis stop growing and can even reduce some of the growth that the lap couldn't get to. The lupron tricks your body into thinking you are premenopausal, a time when you do not produce excess estrogen, hence the halt in endo growth. The endometriosis feeds off of estrogen, so if your body isn't producing estrogen, then the endometriosis can't continue to grow. You read that correctly, YOUR BODY ISNT PRODUCING ESTROGEN!!!!
Say what!?!?!?
I know crazy right, just crazy, I was NOT producing the hormone that helps me NOT be crazy!!!! Oy vey! Not for me.
With all of that being said, it is very common to go through emotional "changes" and the feeling of being emotionally off, or at least that's what the nurse is trying to convince me of now! By Thursday I couldn't take it, I called the the doctors office and am now on a low dose of estrogen through a patch! Thank goodness because I do not know how much longer I could have taken it. I do feel a bit better, which was a great relief after this horrible week! I did verify that this would not be counterproductive, and I was ensured it was a low enough dose to not interfere with the lupron.
I think I've taken a few steps back from "the ledge," so that I am happy about, but I did experience my first hot flash, whoa is all I have to say!
This week was horrible. Not only did it feel like a truck hit me emotionally, BUT I had the strongest, most painful AF that I have ever had in my entire life. I contemplated calling in Monday when she arrived, but being the good little girl that I always am, I took 3 Advil (which I've missed dearly for the last ten months), packed my lunch, and went on my way.
The pain wasn't half as bad as the emotional wreck that I turned into. At first I blamed all of the emotions on AF's arrival, but when it didn't go away I realized there was something more going on. I now know the "ledge" that the nurse was talking about, I was there most of the week. I felt like I was going to cry at any second, I was very paranoid everyone was out to get me, and the anxiety was horrific!
When you take the lupron, it depletes your body of estrogen, a hormone that helps regulate your emotions. This helps the endometriosis stop growing and can even reduce some of the growth that the lap couldn't get to. The lupron tricks your body into thinking you are premenopausal, a time when you do not produce excess estrogen, hence the halt in endo growth. The endometriosis feeds off of estrogen, so if your body isn't producing estrogen, then the endometriosis can't continue to grow. You read that correctly, YOUR BODY ISNT PRODUCING ESTROGEN!!!!
Say what!?!?!?
I know crazy right, just crazy, I was NOT producing the hormone that helps me NOT be crazy!!!! Oy vey! Not for me.
With all of that being said, it is very common to go through emotional "changes" and the feeling of being emotionally off, or at least that's what the nurse is trying to convince me of now! By Thursday I couldn't take it, I called the the doctors office and am now on a low dose of estrogen through a patch! Thank goodness because I do not know how much longer I could have taken it. I do feel a bit better, which was a great relief after this horrible week! I did verify that this would not be counterproductive, and I was ensured it was a low enough dose to not interfere with the lupron.
I think I've taken a few steps back from "the ledge," so that I am happy about, but I did experience my first hot flash, whoa is all I have to say!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Coulda, woulda, shoulda
We dropped off some donations at goodwill a few days ago and decided to take a look around. Neither Mr. E nor I were in the mood to bargain hunt, which for me is a rarity! We did a quick lap and on our way out encountered two men with three children running wild, screaming, and all fighting for attention. I'm not one to judge, but the man looks at me and say, "never have children," laughs, and walks away.
My immediate response was to smile and pretend I either knew what he was talking about, or pretend that I didn't want children due to the fact that they are so difficult to manage, why would I. In typical manner I thought of all of the responses I coulda, woulda, shoulda said...
I do want children and have had three miscarriages and am currently on a 3-4 month treatment plan so that my body is in optimal shape to try again, oh and it will probably never happen naturally for us, so we will need to continue the fertility treatment that we have already been doing for just about a year.
Or
If I had children I would never have to use that comment as an excuse because my children would know how to behave in public.
Or
If you spent more time with your children and less time making sarcastic comments to complete strangers about your inabilities to raise children, maybe they would know how to behave and not embarrass you
Or
Sorry you stink at parenting, but I hope not to someday
But the truth is I am not that witty, nor is it fair for me to judge you and your abilities or inabilities to raise children, so I will simply smile, feel the pit in my stomach churn, the hole in my heart grown bigger, continue on my way. Oh and then blog about you!
My immediate response was to smile and pretend I either knew what he was talking about, or pretend that I didn't want children due to the fact that they are so difficult to manage, why would I. In typical manner I thought of all of the responses I coulda, woulda, shoulda said...
I do want children and have had three miscarriages and am currently on a 3-4 month treatment plan so that my body is in optimal shape to try again, oh and it will probably never happen naturally for us, so we will need to continue the fertility treatment that we have already been doing for just about a year.
Or
If I had children I would never have to use that comment as an excuse because my children would know how to behave in public.
Or
If you spent more time with your children and less time making sarcastic comments to complete strangers about your inabilities to raise children, maybe they would know how to behave and not embarrass you
Or
Sorry you stink at parenting, but I hope not to someday
But the truth is I am not that witty, nor is it fair for me to judge you and your abilities or inabilities to raise children, so I will simply smile, feel the pit in my stomach churn, the hole in my heart grown bigger, continue on my way. Oh and then blog about you!
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Lupron - Week One
Ok so here's the skinny on week one of lupron........ No side effects! Crazy, I know right!?!? Again I'm no fool, especially bc the doc office told me I would most likely not feel a change, if I ever do, until after the two week mark, but so far so good, and I'm thankful for that!
AF was supposed to arrive today, but She didn't which is another positive, but since I had the lap this cycle it could be a few days off, just have to play the waiting game per usual! That's all for now!
AF was supposed to arrive today, but She didn't which is another positive, but since I had the lap this cycle it could be a few days off, just have to play the waiting game per usual! That's all for now!
Monday, October 14, 2013
No more love!
I believe in God..... So I shouldn't be superstitious, right!?!?!
Not right, and I feel super guilty because I know I should just trust in Him that all of this is His plan, but tonight I had to help Him a little bit! I threw out my unlucky pair of pink, cute underwear that said love across the back. Why you might ask........ B/c every single time something bad or unlucky happens to me I swear I'm wearing those darn things (our first and second miscarriages, multiple hiccups at the doc office, and most recently my lap). I am usually lucky if I even get my underwear on correctly in the morning, let alone tying to make sure I avoided that pair.
Anyways, while you are stimming, during fertility treatment (which means using drugs to grow your eggs), you have multiple "magic wand" ultrasounds...... There is nothing magic about it, let me tell ya......... In order to have this ultrasound you need to "undress from the waste down" (I could die a happy person if I never had to hear that phrase again). My main concern with this striptease is where I will bury my underwear, so needless to say I usually will know before the nurse comes back in if the appointment is going to go well or not, depending on which pair of underwear I have on....... Annoying and super frustrating when I get a glance of the word love, So tonight I took charge and threw them out!!!! Feels so good!
Na Na naaa Na, Na Na naaaa Na, hey hey hey, good- bye!
Not right, and I feel super guilty because I know I should just trust in Him that all of this is His plan, but tonight I had to help Him a little bit! I threw out my unlucky pair of pink, cute underwear that said love across the back. Why you might ask........ B/c every single time something bad or unlucky happens to me I swear I'm wearing those darn things (our first and second miscarriages, multiple hiccups at the doc office, and most recently my lap). I am usually lucky if I even get my underwear on correctly in the morning, let alone tying to make sure I avoided that pair.
Anyways, while you are stimming, during fertility treatment (which means using drugs to grow your eggs), you have multiple "magic wand" ultrasounds...... There is nothing magic about it, let me tell ya......... In order to have this ultrasound you need to "undress from the waste down" (I could die a happy person if I never had to hear that phrase again). My main concern with this striptease is where I will bury my underwear, so needless to say I usually will know before the nurse comes back in if the appointment is going to go well or not, depending on which pair of underwear I have on....... Annoying and super frustrating when I get a glance of the word love, So tonight I took charge and threw them out!!!! Feels so good!
Na Na naaa Na, Na Na naaaa Na, hey hey hey, good- bye!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Add It To The List
So I got my lupron shot on Friday after a horrible experience trying to ensure it would be at the office by the time I needed it. The actual shot is around $1,000, so needless to say they aren't just handing these out. Between the doctors office and pharmacy I made about 10 calls on Wednesday, to make sure it was there by my apt on Thursday. The plan is to continue these shots (one shot a month) for 3-4 months. I am concerned though bc I did get my AMH levels back and they dropped from 1.1 pre lap to 0.33 post lap. While it was on the lower end before, now it's very low. The nurse said that they " sometime" see this. My new slogan this year is, add it to the list, so add this to my lovely list. Back to the waiting game until we can test again.......
Ok back to the shot. The actual shot wasn't bad, similar to the HCG booster (needle size/pain is always one of my major concerns :)). Anyways I'm only on day two of the shot, and not sure if it's a coincident, but I'm having some pretty painful days. Lots of sharpe twisting pain on my right side, where I would think my ovary is. I'm going to try and do weekly updates on what I'm feeling and side effects but we will see how that goes!
Ok back to the shot. The actual shot wasn't bad, similar to the HCG booster (needle size/pain is always one of my major concerns :)). Anyways I'm only on day two of the shot, and not sure if it's a coincident, but I'm having some pretty painful days. Lots of sharpe twisting pain on my right side, where I would think my ovary is. I'm going to try and do weekly updates on what I'm feeling and side effects but we will see how that goes!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
TTC Timeline
June 2009
Married my best friend on a magical day. Everything was perfect and we had the best time ever! (I'm sure everyone says that but It was perfect)
December 2011
Stopped bc and started the journey to have a baby.....
December 2012
After 12 entire cycles TTC and not even one pregnancy we Did initial work up with My obgyn as he insisted that he could do everything that the RE would. I agreed to do all testing with him but now regret losing the two months that we did because once we went to RE they redid everything. Go straight to RE!
January 2013
Met with four different doctors and choose one.
February 2013
Clomid 100mg, ovidrel, and iui 16 hours later, crinone........... BFP
March 2013
M/C diagnosed at 7w3d, baby had no hb and stopped growing at 6w1d. D&C scheduled for 3/27
May 2013
Got AF 5/11 and had consult with doc. Decided on natural iui cycle with ovidrel. Back to back iui's and then went to Paris for the tww with crinone in tow!
June 2013
BFP........ended in chemical 5w3d
July/August 2013
Changed doctors (due to location and crabby nurse) and started Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone...... BFP........"probably chemical" 5w2d
August/September 2013
Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone....... BFN
September 2013
9/23 Laparscopy, hysteroscopy, and endometrial removed, stage IV endometriosis diagnosed.
October 2013
Started lupron :( 10/11/13
November 2013
No more lupron :)
December 2013
12/26 Started BCP for our first IVF cycle!
January 2014
1/19 started lupron
1/24 stopped bcp
1/31 started stims
February 2014
2/16 Eggretrieval 6
2/19 Egg transfer 2 at day 3
March 2014
3/5 Beta #1 - 180.9
3/7 Beta #2 - 119
3/10 Beta #3 - 34 chemical pregnancy :(
3/17 started stims IUI
3/29 Trigger /TI
April 2014
4/16 Beta BFN
4/18 Started stims for IVF #2
May 2014
5/1 Egg Retrival 8
5/6 Egg transfer 2 at day 5
5/19 Beta
Married my best friend on a magical day. Everything was perfect and we had the best time ever! (I'm sure everyone says that but It was perfect)
December 2011
Stopped bc and started the journey to have a baby.....
December 2012
After 12 entire cycles TTC and not even one pregnancy we Did initial work up with My obgyn as he insisted that he could do everything that the RE would. I agreed to do all testing with him but now regret losing the two months that we did because once we went to RE they redid everything. Go straight to RE!
January 2013
Met with four different doctors and choose one.
February 2013
Clomid 100mg, ovidrel, and iui 16 hours later, crinone........... BFP
March 2013
M/C diagnosed at 7w3d, baby had no hb and stopped growing at 6w1d. D&C scheduled for 3/27
May 2013
Got AF 5/11 and had consult with doc. Decided on natural iui cycle with ovidrel. Back to back iui's and then went to Paris for the tww with crinone in tow!
June 2013
BFP........ended in chemical 5w3d
July/August 2013
Changed doctors (due to location and crabby nurse) and started Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone...... BFP........"probably chemical" 5w2d
August/September 2013
Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone....... BFN
September 2013
9/23 Laparscopy, hysteroscopy, and endometrial removed, stage IV endometriosis diagnosed.
October 2013
Started lupron :( 10/11/13
November 2013
No more lupron :)
December 2013
12/26 Started BCP for our first IVF cycle!
January 2014
1/19 started lupron
1/24 stopped bcp
1/31 started stims
February 2014
2/16 Eggretrieval 6
2/19 Egg transfer 2 at day 3
March 2014
3/5 Beta #1 - 180.9
3/7 Beta #2 - 119
3/10 Beta #3 - 34 chemical pregnancy :(
3/17 started stims IUI
3/29 Trigger /TI
April 2014
4/16 Beta BFN
4/18 Started stims for IVF #2
May 2014
5/1 Egg Retrival 8
5/6 Egg transfer 2 at day 5
5/19 Beta
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