I cannot believe I am willfully taking Lupron again, but as of 20 minutes ago I did my first injection. I'm panicking a bit due to the last shall we say, rough relationship Lupron and I had. However I'm hoping that since it's part of our protocol (for Ivf) I will be able to tolerate it a bit more (but in all reality am fully prepared to be crazy for the next few weeks, sorry Mr. E!)
We met with the Ivf coordinator last Wednesday to sign the mountainous stack of paperwork. We also got the much anticipated calendar, but unfortunately it only had the next two weeks, which consist of bcp's and lupron. On the brighter side with a new month, we will have a new regiment of meds and hopefully know if we will get our rainbow.
I am so excited to begin all of this, but feel a sad ache in my heart for the realization that we are where we are. No woman ever anticipates that they will have to do this scary infertility stuff to have a healthy child, which ironically is what our bodies were intended to do. It's been hard for me to relinquish control, as that is one of my biggest battles in my life but I've realized that me controlling things has brought me to this exact moment and point, so...........I surrender!
Showing posts with label lupron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lupron. Show all posts
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
What A Headache
Literally, I'm thinking this is becoming a non preferable pattern, and I'm not too happy. A month ago, right before I ovulated, I had three migraines in one week, yes you read that correctly, three.......in.........one........week. I obviously blamed it on lupron, cuz why not, I seem to blame every other ill tempered, bad mood, and crying episode on it still to this day, even though it's been four months since my one and only shot! Anyways... Guess what I have had all week!? A migraine-like killer headache. Non-fricken stop for seven days.
I went the the chiropractor Monday and Tuesday, then spent Wednesday morning in the ER getting a MRI per the doctors scary concerns for a stroke, and finally was diagnosed with hormonal headaches!!! Excuse me! The ER doctor even had the audacity to tell me about his wife, who had to have fertility treatment for their to complete their family (because they wanted four, not three children) who was a crazy lady throughout their whole fertility treatment. I wanted to jump out of the beg and strangle him. If only men had to experience half of what we have to go through it would somewhat equal out the injustices of the world, well not really, but it would help.
Ends up I went back to the chiro land got a decompression treatment and it really helped. Too bad they are closed on the weekend!
I went the the chiropractor Monday and Tuesday, then spent Wednesday morning in the ER getting a MRI per the doctors scary concerns for a stroke, and finally was diagnosed with hormonal headaches!!! Excuse me! The ER doctor even had the audacity to tell me about his wife, who had to have fertility treatment for their to complete their family (because they wanted four, not three children) who was a crazy lady throughout their whole fertility treatment. I wanted to jump out of the beg and strangle him. If only men had to experience half of what we have to go through it would somewhat equal out the injustices of the world, well not really, but it would help.
Ends up I went back to the chiro land got a decompression treatment and it really helped. Too bad they are closed on the weekend!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Lupron -Week Six Through Nine
As usual, it wasn't half as bad as I thought, in fact she didn't even announce it because the principal forgot to ask for celebrations. Crisis averted!!
Short recap, I had one shot of lupron on 10/11 and then didn't do the second one on 11/8. It's been a total of 9 weeks 2 days (said with sarcasm) since the first shot, and still haven't ovulated or gotten a period. I was hoping to have started my period by now, but in true form, I don't always get what I want. For the last week I have been having pretty much constant uterus twitching, at all hours of the day. It's really awkward and uncomfortable, but doesn't hurt and causes no pain. I have had a few painful cramps and then think to myself, oh I must have just ovulated, but then I take an OPK and it's still negative.
The only other issue (side effect) that I have had has been annoying is that about two weeks ago, week 8 since the first shot, I got 3 migraines in one week. One Tuesday around 11 at work, the next Thursday around 12, then the last Sunday around 9 pm. I called the RE and they said it isn't a normal side effect of lupron if I didn't have them when I initially got the shot. So armed with that knowledge I went to my general doctor, and he prescribed some migraine meds and chalked it up to stress and hormones. Of course since then I've been migraine free!! That day I also got a blood draw to check my levels and my estrogen was around 142, progesterone 0.81, so it looks like I'm about to ovulate as of a week ago, but still haven't. Still sitting around waiting. This waiting thing is not a strong suit of mine, I'm just saying!
Short recap, I had one shot of lupron on 10/11 and then didn't do the second one on 11/8. It's been a total of 9 weeks 2 days (said with sarcasm) since the first shot, and still haven't ovulated or gotten a period. I was hoping to have started my period by now, but in true form, I don't always get what I want. For the last week I have been having pretty much constant uterus twitching, at all hours of the day. It's really awkward and uncomfortable, but doesn't hurt and causes no pain. I have had a few painful cramps and then think to myself, oh I must have just ovulated, but then I take an OPK and it's still negative.
The only other issue (side effect) that I have had has been annoying is that about two weeks ago, week 8 since the first shot, I got 3 migraines in one week. One Tuesday around 11 at work, the next Thursday around 12, then the last Sunday around 9 pm. I called the RE and they said it isn't a normal side effect of lupron if I didn't have them when I initially got the shot. So armed with that knowledge I went to my general doctor, and he prescribed some migraine meds and chalked it up to stress and hormones. Of course since then I've been migraine free!! That day I also got a blood draw to check my levels and my estrogen was around 142, progesterone 0.81, so it looks like I'm about to ovulate as of a week ago, but still haven't. Still sitting around waiting. This waiting thing is not a strong suit of mine, I'm just saying!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Buh-bye Lupron!
Since lupron is no longer a character in our story anymore guess what we do now............we wait!
Shocking, I know!
Uhhhhhh more waiting, I don't know how much longer I can wait. It feels like I've been waiting my whole life to have to wait longer to wait yet again to wait to ttc!!! Did you follow that!?!? Not sure I do, but it is what it is, and add it to the list!!!!!!
After you stop the lupron, it can take 1-3 months to get your period back. I'm not sure I knew this when I bent over to get the shot, but too late now! Is it me or does it seem like that would have been a good thing to know before you start a new medicine. The 3-4 months of shots would have been more like 6-9 months with the amount of time it could have taken to get my period back, my word what a tragedy that would have been.
I'm a little frustrated and feeling defeated bc the RE said we had a very low chance of conceiving naturally, but he wants me to be more emotionally leveled out, so that's the plan. If that doesn't work we will do ivf the following month. So until then, you got it, we are WAITING!! That's all for now loves!
Shocking, I know!
Uhhhhhh more waiting, I don't know how much longer I can wait. It feels like I've been waiting my whole life to have to wait longer to wait yet again to wait to ttc!!! Did you follow that!?!? Not sure I do, but it is what it is, and add it to the list!!!!!!
After you stop the lupron, it can take 1-3 months to get your period back. I'm not sure I knew this when I bent over to get the shot, but too late now! Is it me or does it seem like that would have been a good thing to know before you start a new medicine. The 3-4 months of shots would have been more like 6-9 months with the amount of time it could have taken to get my period back, my word what a tragedy that would have been.
I'm a little frustrated and feeling defeated bc the RE said we had a very low chance of conceiving naturally, but he wants me to be more emotionally leveled out, so that's the plan. If that doesn't work we will do ivf the following month. So until then, you got it, we are WAITING!! That's all for now loves!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Lupron -Week Four/Five
I've been slacking and I haven't written in a while, sorry!!
Lupron, lupron, lupron, how I haven't missed you a bit! I called the doctors office last week and met with the doctor about the next injection. I had been feeling very emotional and emotionally uncontrollable which was causing my anxiety to increase. I would have 2-3 good days where I would feel good, I didn't say normal, but my emotions were somewhat under control and I wasn't feeling like I had to cry every time someone said the wrong thing. But then.........then I would have a bad day, which consisted of almost uncontrollable crying, major anxiety, and very hypersensitive to everything. After discussing it with the RE, we mutually decided it wasn't worth it and I would not take the next shot. This was both relieving and made me nervous, which you probably would have guessed!
Good news is that we made it through our first due date from our first precious angle who we lost in March. I've said this before in a previous post but the only thing that got me through everything was that I thought I would for sure be pregnant by this date, but I'm not :( Mr. E and I went downtown Chicago and went out to eat and spent the night. It was a very nice distraction but it was still very difficult.
Ehhh so that's about it for now, I just have to wait until AF comes, so we shall see how long that will be.
Lupron, lupron, lupron, how I haven't missed you a bit! I called the doctors office last week and met with the doctor about the next injection. I had been feeling very emotional and emotionally uncontrollable which was causing my anxiety to increase. I would have 2-3 good days where I would feel good, I didn't say normal, but my emotions were somewhat under control and I wasn't feeling like I had to cry every time someone said the wrong thing. But then.........then I would have a bad day, which consisted of almost uncontrollable crying, major anxiety, and very hypersensitive to everything. After discussing it with the RE, we mutually decided it wasn't worth it and I would not take the next shot. This was both relieving and made me nervous, which you probably would have guessed!
Good news is that we made it through our first due date from our first precious angle who we lost in March. I've said this before in a previous post but the only thing that got me through everything was that I thought I would for sure be pregnant by this date, but I'm not :( Mr. E and I went downtown Chicago and went out to eat and spent the night. It was a very nice distraction but it was still very difficult.
Ehhh so that's about it for now, I just have to wait until AF comes, so we shall see how long that will be.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Lupron - Week Three
I had a much better week in terms of emotions. I am doing the add-back treatment, so I have a low dose estrogen patch. I also have this spray called evamist that I spray on my arm each day. I by no means feel like I am normal, I'm still crying very easily, and still don't feel myself, but it is a bit more tolerable, but no fun!
Do I like lupron..... No.
Do I want to stay on lupron....... No.
Do I think it's working..... I have no idea
Am I hopeful it will work...... Heck yea, I have nothing else to loose at this point, oops I forgot about my sanity!!!!!!
I go next week for my second shot, I hope everything stays the same, and I stay a few steps back from THE LEDGE!!!!!ll
Do I like lupron..... No.
Do I want to stay on lupron....... No.
Do I think it's working..... I have no idea
Am I hopeful it will work...... Heck yea, I have nothing else to loose at this point, oops I forgot about my sanity!!!!!!
I go next week for my second shot, I hope everything stays the same, and I stay a few steps back from THE LEDGE!!!!!ll
Friday, October 25, 2013
Lupron-Week Two
Holy moly guacamole!!
This week was horrible. Not only did it feel like a truck hit me emotionally, BUT I had the strongest, most painful AF that I have ever had in my entire life. I contemplated calling in Monday when she arrived, but being the good little girl that I always am, I took 3 Advil (which I've missed dearly for the last ten months), packed my lunch, and went on my way.
The pain wasn't half as bad as the emotional wreck that I turned into. At first I blamed all of the emotions on AF's arrival, but when it didn't go away I realized there was something more going on. I now know the "ledge" that the nurse was talking about, I was there most of the week. I felt like I was going to cry at any second, I was very paranoid everyone was out to get me, and the anxiety was horrific!
When you take the lupron, it depletes your body of estrogen, a hormone that helps regulate your emotions. This helps the endometriosis stop growing and can even reduce some of the growth that the lap couldn't get to. The lupron tricks your body into thinking you are premenopausal, a time when you do not produce excess estrogen, hence the halt in endo growth. The endometriosis feeds off of estrogen, so if your body isn't producing estrogen, then the endometriosis can't continue to grow. You read that correctly, YOUR BODY ISNT PRODUCING ESTROGEN!!!!
Say what!?!?!?
I know crazy right, just crazy, I was NOT producing the hormone that helps me NOT be crazy!!!! Oy vey! Not for me.
With all of that being said, it is very common to go through emotional "changes" and the feeling of being emotionally off, or at least that's what the nurse is trying to convince me of now! By Thursday I couldn't take it, I called the the doctors office and am now on a low dose of estrogen through a patch! Thank goodness because I do not know how much longer I could have taken it. I do feel a bit better, which was a great relief after this horrible week! I did verify that this would not be counterproductive, and I was ensured it was a low enough dose to not interfere with the lupron.
I think I've taken a few steps back from "the ledge," so that I am happy about, but I did experience my first hot flash, whoa is all I have to say!
This week was horrible. Not only did it feel like a truck hit me emotionally, BUT I had the strongest, most painful AF that I have ever had in my entire life. I contemplated calling in Monday when she arrived, but being the good little girl that I always am, I took 3 Advil (which I've missed dearly for the last ten months), packed my lunch, and went on my way.
The pain wasn't half as bad as the emotional wreck that I turned into. At first I blamed all of the emotions on AF's arrival, but when it didn't go away I realized there was something more going on. I now know the "ledge" that the nurse was talking about, I was there most of the week. I felt like I was going to cry at any second, I was very paranoid everyone was out to get me, and the anxiety was horrific!
When you take the lupron, it depletes your body of estrogen, a hormone that helps regulate your emotions. This helps the endometriosis stop growing and can even reduce some of the growth that the lap couldn't get to. The lupron tricks your body into thinking you are premenopausal, a time when you do not produce excess estrogen, hence the halt in endo growth. The endometriosis feeds off of estrogen, so if your body isn't producing estrogen, then the endometriosis can't continue to grow. You read that correctly, YOUR BODY ISNT PRODUCING ESTROGEN!!!!
Say what!?!?!?
I know crazy right, just crazy, I was NOT producing the hormone that helps me NOT be crazy!!!! Oy vey! Not for me.
With all of that being said, it is very common to go through emotional "changes" and the feeling of being emotionally off, or at least that's what the nurse is trying to convince me of now! By Thursday I couldn't take it, I called the the doctors office and am now on a low dose of estrogen through a patch! Thank goodness because I do not know how much longer I could have taken it. I do feel a bit better, which was a great relief after this horrible week! I did verify that this would not be counterproductive, and I was ensured it was a low enough dose to not interfere with the lupron.
I think I've taken a few steps back from "the ledge," so that I am happy about, but I did experience my first hot flash, whoa is all I have to say!
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Lupron - Week One
Ok so here's the skinny on week one of lupron........ No side effects! Crazy, I know right!?!? Again I'm no fool, especially bc the doc office told me I would most likely not feel a change, if I ever do, until after the two week mark, but so far so good, and I'm thankful for that!
AF was supposed to arrive today, but She didn't which is another positive, but since I had the lap this cycle it could be a few days off, just have to play the waiting game per usual! That's all for now!
AF was supposed to arrive today, but She didn't which is another positive, but since I had the lap this cycle it could be a few days off, just have to play the waiting game per usual! That's all for now!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Add It To The List
So I got my lupron shot on Friday after a horrible experience trying to ensure it would be at the office by the time I needed it. The actual shot is around $1,000, so needless to say they aren't just handing these out. Between the doctors office and pharmacy I made about 10 calls on Wednesday, to make sure it was there by my apt on Thursday. The plan is to continue these shots (one shot a month) for 3-4 months. I am concerned though bc I did get my AMH levels back and they dropped from 1.1 pre lap to 0.33 post lap. While it was on the lower end before, now it's very low. The nurse said that they " sometime" see this. My new slogan this year is, add it to the list, so add this to my lovely list. Back to the waiting game until we can test again.......
Ok back to the shot. The actual shot wasn't bad, similar to the HCG booster (needle size/pain is always one of my major concerns :)). Anyways I'm only on day two of the shot, and not sure if it's a coincident, but I'm having some pretty painful days. Lots of sharpe twisting pain on my right side, where I would think my ovary is. I'm going to try and do weekly updates on what I'm feeling and side effects but we will see how that goes!
Ok back to the shot. The actual shot wasn't bad, similar to the HCG booster (needle size/pain is always one of my major concerns :)). Anyways I'm only on day two of the shot, and not sure if it's a coincident, but I'm having some pretty painful days. Lots of sharpe twisting pain on my right side, where I would think my ovary is. I'm going to try and do weekly updates on what I'm feeling and side effects but we will see how that goes!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
TTC Timeline
June 2009
Married my best friend on a magical day. Everything was perfect and we had the best time ever! (I'm sure everyone says that but It was perfect)
December 2011
Stopped bc and started the journey to have a baby.....
December 2012
After 12 entire cycles TTC and not even one pregnancy we Did initial work up with My obgyn as he insisted that he could do everything that the RE would. I agreed to do all testing with him but now regret losing the two months that we did because once we went to RE they redid everything. Go straight to RE!
January 2013
Met with four different doctors and choose one.
February 2013
Clomid 100mg, ovidrel, and iui 16 hours later, crinone........... BFP
March 2013
M/C diagnosed at 7w3d, baby had no hb and stopped growing at 6w1d. D&C scheduled for 3/27
May 2013
Got AF 5/11 and had consult with doc. Decided on natural iui cycle with ovidrel. Back to back iui's and then went to Paris for the tww with crinone in tow!
June 2013
BFP........ended in chemical 5w3d
July/August 2013
Changed doctors (due to location and crabby nurse) and started Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone...... BFP........"probably chemical" 5w2d
August/September 2013
Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone....... BFN
September 2013
9/23 Laparscopy, hysteroscopy, and endometrial removed, stage IV endometriosis diagnosed.
October 2013
Started lupron :( 10/11/13
November 2013
No more lupron :)
December 2013
12/26 Started BCP for our first IVF cycle!
January 2014
1/19 started lupron
1/24 stopped bcp
1/31 started stims
February 2014
2/16 Eggretrieval 6
2/19 Egg transfer 2 at day 3
March 2014
3/5 Beta #1 - 180.9
3/7 Beta #2 - 119
3/10 Beta #3 - 34 chemical pregnancy :(
3/17 started stims IUI
3/29 Trigger /TI
April 2014
4/16 Beta BFN
4/18 Started stims for IVF #2
May 2014
5/1 Egg Retrival 8
5/6 Egg transfer 2 at day 5
5/19 Beta
Married my best friend on a magical day. Everything was perfect and we had the best time ever! (I'm sure everyone says that but It was perfect)
December 2011
Stopped bc and started the journey to have a baby.....
December 2012
After 12 entire cycles TTC and not even one pregnancy we Did initial work up with My obgyn as he insisted that he could do everything that the RE would. I agreed to do all testing with him but now regret losing the two months that we did because once we went to RE they redid everything. Go straight to RE!
January 2013
Met with four different doctors and choose one.
February 2013
Clomid 100mg, ovidrel, and iui 16 hours later, crinone........... BFP
March 2013
M/C diagnosed at 7w3d, baby had no hb and stopped growing at 6w1d. D&C scheduled for 3/27
May 2013
Got AF 5/11 and had consult with doc. Decided on natural iui cycle with ovidrel. Back to back iui's and then went to Paris for the tww with crinone in tow!
June 2013
BFP........ended in chemical 5w3d
July/August 2013
Changed doctors (due to location and crabby nurse) and started Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone...... BFP........"probably chemical" 5w2d
August/September 2013
Injectables, menopur, ovidrel, hcg booster, and crinone....... BFN
September 2013
9/23 Laparscopy, hysteroscopy, and endometrial removed, stage IV endometriosis diagnosed.
October 2013
Started lupron :( 10/11/13
November 2013
No more lupron :)
December 2013
12/26 Started BCP for our first IVF cycle!
January 2014
1/19 started lupron
1/24 stopped bcp
1/31 started stims
February 2014
2/16 Eggretrieval 6
2/19 Egg transfer 2 at day 3
March 2014
3/5 Beta #1 - 180.9
3/7 Beta #2 - 119
3/10 Beta #3 - 34 chemical pregnancy :(
3/17 started stims IUI
3/29 Trigger /TI
April 2014
4/16 Beta BFN
4/18 Started stims for IVF #2
May 2014
5/1 Egg Retrival 8
5/6 Egg transfer 2 at day 5
5/19 Beta
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Post Op Apt
Ok so I totally thought that If I said I would sleep well that it would actually happen... Yea right in my dreams, that I didn't have last night due to the fact that I barely slept at all. This could have been contributed to a number of reasons first and foremost my post op doctors apt where I would be getting the results from the laparoscopy. It also could have been because it was my first day back to school after a week off. Or it could have been that I had class tonight and had already missed one due to the surgery..... If you know me I am very type a and not having perfect attendance stresses me out big time and it was the first class of the semester, where you also know that you feel out how much work the class will actually be, and I wasn't there!
Everything went well and I do have a lot to be thankful for
First for my doctors apt, I do have stage IV endometriosis. It was in and on both ovaries, on my bladder, Colon, and in my pelvic area. I had a lot of adhesions and large cyst in both of my ovaries ( we had originally thought only the right, but that was no such luck). My right ovary needed to be actually opened to remove the cyst so it is currently being held together by stitches and a mesh bag that will dissolve in six weeks....sick! I almost passed out just looking at the picture thank goodness I didn't go into nursing and choose teaching instead, I
would never have cut it! Anyways I fought tooth and nail not to have to do the 3-4 months of treatment, but when the doctor said to think of it as healing time for my ovary and that if we tried to conceive my ovary could burst he sold me......how easily I fold!!
The med I will be taking for 3-4 months is lupron but I will also be having add on treatments of a low dose of estrogen to keep the side effects down. Lupron is a once a month injection done at the doctors office, I'm still waiting to figure out the estrogen. Lupron basically tricks the body into thinking you are going through menopause and stops all ovulation and menstration. This is defiantly not what I had wanted to do, in fact I was severely opposed initially to doing the lupron but I am more at peace after taking to the doctor.
He also said that after the 3-4 months our best bet was Ivf. I had come to the terms of moving on to Ivf as there are higher statistic with getting pregnant, more monitoring of the eggs growing, a better chance of getting a good egg, and much more support in the post luteal phase (after ovulation until implantation) which is where we seem to be having the most issues. Mr. E on the other hand was really hoping we could try as naturally as possible........
I am thankful to have knowledgeable doctors and nurses on our team
I am thankful that the doctor was able to remove almost all of the endometriosis
I am thankful for Mr. E and all that he does to support and uplift me
I am thankful that we will still have the opportunity to try for our miracle
I am thankful for this feeling of peace and calmness
Please Lord help me keep this optimistic outlook for the next 3-4 month!!! ( I'll believe it when I see it!!!!)
Everything went well and I do have a lot to be thankful for
First for my doctors apt, I do have stage IV endometriosis. It was in and on both ovaries, on my bladder, Colon, and in my pelvic area. I had a lot of adhesions and large cyst in both of my ovaries ( we had originally thought only the right, but that was no such luck). My right ovary needed to be actually opened to remove the cyst so it is currently being held together by stitches and a mesh bag that will dissolve in six weeks....sick! I almost passed out just looking at the picture thank goodness I didn't go into nursing and choose teaching instead, I
would never have cut it! Anyways I fought tooth and nail not to have to do the 3-4 months of treatment, but when the doctor said to think of it as healing time for my ovary and that if we tried to conceive my ovary could burst he sold me......how easily I fold!!
The med I will be taking for 3-4 months is lupron but I will also be having add on treatments of a low dose of estrogen to keep the side effects down. Lupron is a once a month injection done at the doctors office, I'm still waiting to figure out the estrogen. Lupron basically tricks the body into thinking you are going through menopause and stops all ovulation and menstration. This is defiantly not what I had wanted to do, in fact I was severely opposed initially to doing the lupron but I am more at peace after taking to the doctor.
He also said that after the 3-4 months our best bet was Ivf. I had come to the terms of moving on to Ivf as there are higher statistic with getting pregnant, more monitoring of the eggs growing, a better chance of getting a good egg, and much more support in the post luteal phase (after ovulation until implantation) which is where we seem to be having the most issues. Mr. E on the other hand was really hoping we could try as naturally as possible........
I am thankful to have knowledgeable doctors and nurses on our team
I am thankful that the doctor was able to remove almost all of the endometriosis
I am thankful for Mr. E and all that he does to support and uplift me
I am thankful that we will still have the opportunity to try for our miracle
I am thankful for this feeling of peace and calmness
Please Lord help me keep this optimistic outlook for the next 3-4 month!!! ( I'll believe it when I see it!!!!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)