When you go through a loss it seems like the people who you want to think will be the most supportive usually tend to be the least supportive and end up making you feel worse. Why is that? Usually my mom would be the #1 colpurat, but after consoling me four times she's actually getting the hang of it!
Case #1 my best friend. I told her tonight that we had another chemical pregnancy, or early miscarriage for those who aren't in the fertility world, and the first thing she said is thank you for not telling me be it is so hard for me. So rude is all I was thinking but what I said was I can only imagine how hard this is for her but I need people to talk to about this. Clearly I was being the selfish one for sharing very personal, difficult information with her and asking for support. I texted her today and cleared up the misunderstanding.
Case #2 religious family members - I hate the saying God has a plan don't worry. I do worry, and I don't like Gods plan. This hurts like hell to have a precious gift from Him that is so quickly given and then taken away
I am probably still being hormonal (heck technically I'm still pregnant which sucks) and crazy and I apologize, but until you've been in these shoes back the fuck off and be respectful. If you don't know what to say, google it, there are no excuses anymore, look it up there are numerous great articles out there.
Love
Pissy, shitty, and hormonal Mrs. E
Showing posts with label Ivf miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ivf miscarriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
IVF #1 Chemical Pregnancy :( :(
That title gets a double sad face :(
another
chemical
pregnancy.
All my numbers are tail spinning down and............I started spotting yesterday so looks like AF is right around the corner. I knew it was coming after my conversation with the nurse on Friday, but it ain't over (at least to me) until the Ivf nurse sings, and she sang.
I always hold out a little bit of hope that I will have that weird, totally unbelievable story, that defies all rules and logic, but no such luck and it still just as painful.
I thought I would be better emotionally, knowing that losing the pregnancy was the most logical outcome, but it was and is just as hard.
I feel ok one second then devastated the next, then sick to my stomach, then stable, then so upset, then I cry, then I'm back to ok.
Luckily, I was able to get in for a consult tomorrow so we should have some sort of an answer and hopefully a plan for what's next.
another
chemical
pregnancy.
All my numbers are tail spinning down and............I started spotting yesterday so looks like AF is right around the corner. I knew it was coming after my conversation with the nurse on Friday, but it ain't over (at least to me) until the Ivf nurse sings, and she sang.
I always hold out a little bit of hope that I will have that weird, totally unbelievable story, that defies all rules and logic, but no such luck and it still just as painful.
I thought I would be better emotionally, knowing that losing the pregnancy was the most logical outcome, but it was and is just as hard.
I feel ok one second then devastated the next, then sick to my stomach, then stable, then so upset, then I cry, then I'm back to ok.
Luckily, I was able to get in for a consult tomorrow so we should have some sort of an answer and hopefully a plan for what's next.
Friday, March 7, 2014
IVF #1 Second beta :(
Just got off the phone worth the nurse, hcg dropped from 180.9 to 119.2, estrodial went up from 1454 to 1527, and progesterone went down from 79.2 to 46.76.
The nurse said that since I started out so high to think positive, maybe it's a twin that didn't take, but I know what this means. Another chemical pregnancy.
Literally I am so sad.
I thought either we wouldn't get pregnant or we would and we would carry to term. I didn't even run this option through my head because there is no way I would be able to handle another loss, but here we go again.
I asked if I could come in Sunday because I know they are there, she said no weekends are only for monitoring, so I have to wait until Monday and we will do another hcg.
Literally
Can't
Comprehend
It
:(
The nurse said that since I started out so high to think positive, maybe it's a twin that didn't take, but I know what this means. Another chemical pregnancy.
Literally I am so sad.
I thought either we wouldn't get pregnant or we would and we would carry to term. I didn't even run this option through my head because there is no way I would be able to handle another loss, but here we go again.
I asked if I could come in Sunday because I know they are there, she said no weekends are only for monitoring, so I have to wait until Monday and we will do another hcg.
Literally
Can't
Comprehend
It
:(
Saturday, February 1, 2014
IVF #1 Stim Day 1-3
Stim day one, well actually two! I can't believe it is finally here! I am excited, nervous, and anxious to see how this goes. I was soooo nervous I would have a huge cyst, but so far cyst free! Here is the first few days schedule until I go back Monday.
AM
-5,000 u/ml Heprin
PM
-5 u lupron
-150 menopur
-150 folllistim
-5,000 Heprin
-baby aspirin
I am so anxious (mostly that's just my personality) to get dates for ER and actually know what is going on in my life for a few days. I have literally run every possible date through my calendars and checked and cross checked dates, it can be exhausting. The only date I am not looking at is due date bc I am also superstitious that I will jinx something. With that being said, we are right on par to be at the exact, and I mean to the hour, of the dates of our first of three pregnancies that we lost :( it's sad and comforting all at the same time. So basically I know the potential due date ;) That's all that's going on in my neck of the woods.
AM
-5,000 u/ml Heprin
PM
-5 u lupron
-150 menopur
-150 folllistim
-5,000 Heprin
-baby aspirin
I am so anxious (mostly that's just my personality) to get dates for ER and actually know what is going on in my life for a few days. I have literally run every possible date through my calendars and checked and cross checked dates, it can be exhausting. The only date I am not looking at is due date bc I am also superstitious that I will jinx something. With that being said, we are right on par to be at the exact, and I mean to the hour, of the dates of our first of three pregnancies that we lost :( it's sad and comforting all at the same time. So basically I know the potential due date ;) That's all that's going on in my neck of the woods.
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